Chasing Love
by Suu-Happiness
Summary: Is it really so good to give up everything just for a persocon? One girl has to deal with it on and off, but it gets worse and worse as she falls in love.
1. Prologue

"Chasing Love"  
A Chobits fic by Minoru no Uchiwashoujo  
******  
Screens, all around the room. That's the first thing to be seen when you enter. But it doesn't  
surprise me, I've been entering it for a couple of months now. Sometimes to follow a lead that  
turns out to be a dead end, a message that turns out to be false. But lately we've been picking up  
on something that might just be what we're looking for.   
...I say "we". It isn't really that way. I'm the brains, and he's the power. If it weren't for me he  
never would have found out about her in the first place. But I suppose it is my fault for showing  
him what I found on the custom persocon BBS, because now all he thinks about is her. I'd give  
anything to have things back the way they were, when he had no clues she even existed. We all  
have to repent for our mistakes. I know this. But why do I have to suffer when he turns his  
attention away from me? Me, who he's known most of his life?  
Me, who would do anything for him?  
Me...who loves him?  
Not finding any answers in my reflection, I turn away from the mirror and enter the room. 


	2. Spotting a legend

He barely looks up when I step through the door, and favors me with a nod. It's more than he  
usually gives me, sadly enough...most times he won't bother giving me the time of day. I return  
his nod, seating myself behind the master console. "Yoshiyuki-san." My voice can barely be made  
out above the humming of the many persocons in the room below, but I know he hears me. He  
grunts and looks up from his work. "Have we found anything else?" I persist, surprised at how  
attentive he is. He drifts in and out of reality sometimes, it seems, but today he's especially  
grounded. He glances back down at the screen, then meets my gaze again. "Nothing." I look at  
my own screen out of habit, but like so many times before, it's blank. He continues. "I think  
we've been running a false trail, Kirameku-chan. I haven't gotten anything in, and I've been  
checking your console while you were attending to...other affairs." His lip curls in a sneer, and I  
can't blame him. I'm the one who has to keep up our image. We're supposedly a happy young  
couple who's really into persocons. But underneath the socially acceptable facade I maintain,  
there's something darker. Something...that I can't quite explain. We've always been this way,  
different from the populace around us. And now we're off chasing a wild hare, like we always do,  
looking for more persocons to capture and study. Like I said...I'm the brains. I plot the course, I  
spot the persocon. Yoshiyuki's the power, the one who swoops in for the kill, so to speak. I look  
over at my screen again with a sigh, but it's cut short. "Yoshiyuki-san," I murmur, my eyes  
lighting up with the thrill of the chase. "Look." I put my fingertip to the screen. An image has  
appeared on my console. He leans over to look, and a hungry, predatory gleam comes into his  
eyes. "Kirameku-chan. You're brilliant. I'm not even going to ask what you had to set up to get  
this tracking device." The image blinks away, only to be immediately replaced by another. And  
another. The whirring of the persocons increases as the image switching speeds up into real-time  
motion. We finally have found what we've been searching for. A supposed legend is right here on  
my monitor.  
"Chobits," we whisper at the exact same time. 


	3. Planning the capture

He's typing furiously, and I'm dictating what he should say. "More information on the picture I  
sent you before," I state, my words flying just as fast as his fingers. Besides my voice, the room is  
filled with the sounds of working persocons, and the wild clattering of his keyboard. Sometimes I  
swear he's going to break that thing with how fast he types, but I do the exact same thing, so I  
guess he's not the only one at fault there. I stop talking, and with a feral grin, he moves his hands  
away from the keyboard. "This needs the Kirameku touch, now," he says. With an amused shake  
of my head, I slide into his seat as he vacates it, and soon my brain's buzzing with ideas almost  
faster than my hands can keep up with writing them down. He brings up some images on my  
console. "We need to study these more carefully, but all our full-sized persocons are being used.  
Do you mind-" I cut him off. "Bring down Kotoko and Hikaru," I respond. He barely seems to  
notice that I'm talking, but he taps a few buttons on the side of the console. Within a few minutes,  
our mobile persocons are seated on the ledge between the machines. Kotoko, his mobile, has long  
blue-black hair with two jingle-bell style dataports on either side of her head, and two mock  
dataports to round out her appearance. Hikaru, my mobile, has shoulder-length burgundy hair  
with two dataports of the exact same style perched at the sides of her head. They both wear the  
same outfit, red and white dresses with long, draping sleeves and red bows at the front, and a  
stylized representation of their dataport style on the back of the dresses. Yoshiyuki smiles at his  
workmanship (he built both the mobiles himself, and gave me one for my birthday a couple years  
back) and almost lovingly reaches out to hook Kotoko into the console. I do the same for Hikaru,  
and soon the two are hard at work scanning the pictures. Yoshiyuki watches the analyzations fly  
by on the screen, and I return to my rapid typing. Before long, Kotoko's eyes snap open. "Master,  
pictures analyzed!" she says. Hikaru opens her eyes more lazily, and sits upright. "What Kotoko  
said," she says through a faked yawn. Hikaru is such a smart-aleck...I love her dearly for it. I  
smile and pat her on the head. Yoshiyuki sorts out the relevant data, stopping to confer with the  
mobiles every so often, and before long we're locked onto the mysterious persocon's location.  
She's approaching the Yamatani Bookstore. I pin Yoshiyuki with a cold stare. "Go get her," I  
snap. "And don't make any mistakes. Yoshiyuki-san." He catches the icy sarcasm in my voice,  
and laughs, leaning closer to me. "You know what, Kirameku-chan?" he murmurs. "You know  
what I like best about you?" Of course I do, but I stay silent, waiting to hear him say it. He does,  
moving still closer. "The way you take command of a situation...any situation." His lips touch  
mine.  
What I like best about Yoshiyuki...is the way he lets me take control. 


	4. She awakens

I track Yoshiyuki's position, as well as the persocon's, as he goes after her. By the time he  
reaches her, she's stopped in front of the bookstore, looking at a picture book. I zoom in. "Go  
Around A Little More - The Town With No People", it's called. As she opens it to the first page,  
Yoshiyuki makes his move. He ducks out of the crowd and clamps a hand over her mouth, pulling  
her away. The last thing I see before the tracking device goes dead is one of her hair clips falling  
to the ground. "Good work, Yoshiyuki-san," I say, even though I know he can't hear me. "I just  
hope...that hair clip won't give us away." But we can't plan for everything.  
He returns, carrying her in his arms. I direct him to put her in his room. Kotoko goes with him,  
but me and Hikaru stay in the console room, which branches off from his bedroom. We'll wait till  
she wakes up, I think. Then we'll go in there and we'll figure out "just...what...makes...her...tick."  
I say the last words aloud, pounding my fist on the arm of the chair to emphasize each one.  
Hikaru gives me a half-confused look. "N-never mind, Hikaru-chan," I say quickly, embarrassed.  
"I was just thinking out loud again." My persocon mutters an answer that is nonetheless heard  
quite easily. "More like talking to yourself, Mistress." I laugh and pat Hikaru on the head again.  
Yoshiyuki returns without Kotoko, having left her to guard the persocon and alert him of her  
awakening. I rise from my chair and walk over to him, slipping my arms around his waist. "You  
did well, Yoshiyuki-san," I murmur. He holds me tightly against him, resting his chin on the top of  
my head. It feels so good to be in his embrace, especially since he hasn't been anywhere near this  
affectionate for a long time. We stand like that for a few moments, but quickly break apart when  
Hikaru starts to singsong, "She's awakening, she's awakening! Receiving signal from Kotoko!  
She's awa~kening! Hurry up! She's awaaaaaakening!" Yoshiyuki gives me a sad, regretful smile,  
and turns to exit the room. I grab his arm. "Wait, Yoshiyuki-san," I utter. He stops and half-turns  
so he's looking at me. I smile and reach up, touching his cheek. "We're in this together. I'm not  
letting you go in there without me." He laughs and pulls me into a bone-cracking embrace,  
planting a kiss on my forehead. "Come on then, Kirameku-chan," he replies. And so I do. 


	5. Fueling jealousy

We enter the room, me at Yoshiyuki's side, Hikaru sitting jauntily on my shoulder. The persocon  
looks up at our entrance. "Who are you?" she says. Yoshiyuki speaks first. "Kojima Yoshiyuki,"  
he says, and looks to me. I quickly follow up with my own name. "Ikuza Kirameku." The  
persocon tilts her head, apparently processing this information. No one speaks for a moment.  
Finally, she breaks the silence. "Kojima...Yoshiyuki..." she fumbles. "And Ikuza...Kirameku...?"  
Yoshiyuki nods. The persocon turns to Kotoko now. "This thing told me..." Kotoko jumps up,  
taking offense at the words. "I'm not a thing! That's impolite behavior, you know, I do have a  
name!" She plugs herself into the television set. Her name appears. "My name is Kotoko!" she  
snaps. The persocon's eyes light up. "Chii remembers, this thing is called Kotoko!" Yoshiyuki's  
mobile is absolutely fuming by this time. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm not a thing!"  
she spits out between clenched teeth. Hikaru is almost toppling off my shoulder as laughter rocks  
her small body. Kotoko fixes Hikaru with a glare. "Shut your trap or I'll come over there and shut  
it for you!" My mobile just laughs harder...she loves making Kotoko angry. I put a fingertip over  
Hikaru's mouth. "Shush, Hikaru-chan," I say, fighting a smile. Hikaru shushes, with an effort.  
Meanwhile, Yoshiyuki has moved forward and is now talking to the persocon in a soft, low voice.  
The same voice he used to use when he was talking to me. It makes me jealous, but he doesn't  
even notice the bitter expression on my face. However, Kotoko does, and flashes me a  
sympathetic look. I force a smile and try to listen to the conversation. Yoshiyuki has by now  
determined that the persocon's name is Chii, and that someone named Hideki had found her and  
brought her home. He's now holding a section of her hair in his hand, and delicately caressing it  
with his thumb, staring directly into her eyes. I turn away, unable to handle this, and make a break  
for the other room, Hikaru losing her balance and falling to the tatami as I whirl and flee.   
"Kirameku-chan?" He apparently entered the room without my noticing...not hard to do since I  
have been sitting in here and crying. I hear his soft footsteps, and feel his hand on my shoulder,  
but refuse to look at him. I'm leaning on my console, my face buried in my arms, streaked with  
tears that have long since dried. He moves around to my side and forcibly lifts my head.  
"Kirameku-chan, you've been crying," he whispers softly. I clamp my eyelids tightly shut. I'm not  
going to look at him, I'm not even going to acknowledge his existence. Most importantly...  
I mustn't cry. 


	6. Confession

When Yoshiyuki pulls me against him and holds me, my calm facade crumbles. I bury my face in  
his shirt and burst into tears, thankful that at least he still thinks to comfort me, that he hasn't  
totally forgotten about me. He strokes my hair, murmuring soothing words as I grip his shirt  
tightly, sobbing, spilling out all the hurt I've kept locked inside for so long. And with my tears  
come words. "You ignore me," I wail. "You drop everything but this stupid chase. You lose all  
connection with what we had between us. I thought today was different. But now-" my voice  
cracks - "you just go and act all lovey-dovey with that persocon, and you don't even think about  
how I might feel! You don't stop to consider that I might be jealous! You don't stop to consider  
that I might actually love you!" By now I'm crying too hard to continue speaking. He's quit  
stroking my hair, apparently startled by what I've blurted out in my emotional haze. I lift my head  
and look him straight in the eye, clutching the fabric of his shirt still more tightly. My eyes are  
narrowed, angry, despite the tears that still flow freely down my cheeks. "You hear what I'm  
saying?" I demand brokenly, and shake him. "You hear what I'm saying, Kojima Yoshiyuki?! I  
love you, you idiot, and I'm not gonna let any stupid persocon come between us! Even if I have  
to throw her out on the streets! I'm not gonna let you start loving her instead of me." I'm getting  
tired out by all this crying and ranting, and he can tell. He resumes stroking my hair, and I press  
my face into his shirt again. My eyes slip closed of their own volition. As I drift into sleep, I think  
I hear him speak.  
"I love you too...Kirameku-chan." 


	7. Dangerous situation

When I awaken, I'm still curled against him, but he's sitting in the chair with me on his lap...he must have moved while I was sleeping. His eyes are closed, and he's snoring quietly. Instinctively, automatically, I reach up and slip his glasses off his face, but he stirs and opens his eyes. "Kirameku-chan," he murmurs. I silently hold up his glasses to show him that he hasn't lost them, then set them on the ledge between the two consoles. "Go back to sleep," I say through a yawn. Still exhausted from my outburst earlier, I take my own advice, feeling safe and comfortable in Yoshiyuki's arms.  
The room is dark by the time I wake up again. Yoshiyuki has gone back to sleep, and I take a moment to study his familiar face. It seems sharper, more angular somehow, and even in sleep, his forehead is furrowed with lines I don't remember being there. He looks so different that it sets me to wondering. Is this my Yoshiyuki? Is this the same person who would hold me when I was afraid, the same person who not only let me throw myself heart and soul into anything I pleased, but would encourage me to, and sometimes even join in? The same person who I thought loved me? My breath catches in my throat at that last part. "Love," I mutter bitterly, in a quiet voice so I won't wake him. "Is it even worth anything?" I don't expect an answer, and of course I don't get one. Moving carefully, I slide off of his lap and stand up. Looking back, I notice that he looks...smaller, somehow. Of course, maybe it's my skewed perspective on life, and I guess I haven't really been looking close at him lately. His face still has that innocent look I remember, though, and I smile to see it. "Even through all your changes, you still keep one of the things I love best about you," I whisper, half to myself, half to the silent air. However, it doesn't stay silent for long. All of the screens light up at once, coupled with a tremendous grating sound. Yoshiyuki instantly snaps awake. "Doushita?!" I scream at him over the horrible noise. "What the hell is going on?!" He snatches his glasses and shoves them onto his face. "Get to your console, NOW, Kirameku!" he yells. I've never heard this commanding, horrifying tone in his voice before. It scares me. I obey without hesitation. "Bring up the level 1 access system!" he snaps. Instinctively, I first enable the protective measures, then with a few rapid keystrokes, the system is up. An alarm starts blaring as soon as the images hit the screens. Yoshiyuki curses and drops into the chair in front of his console, entering the access parameters. "We got a problem, Kirameku-chan," he growls. "Enable all the level 5 protection programs...and there's never been a better time to test out level 6."  
"You CAN'T be serious." I can feel the blood drain from my face. "It's...that bad?" He inclines his head sharply. Adrenaline surges into my body, and within seconds, I'm keying up all seventeen protection programs. My fingers move faster than ever before, fueled by fear and the ecstatic rush that pulses through me. Yoshiyuki is glaring at the screen, his whole body ramrod-stiff with concentration, a muscle twitching in his jaw. When I look over at him, another surge of adrenaline hits me. This time, it isn't from the danger of the situation...  
It's from the danger of him. 


	8. What is wrong?

"The persocons," he yells. "Get to the persocons! Disconnect everyone but Kaze from the network! She's the most easily repaired, and we need something to hold up the system." I leap out of my chair and obey his orders. Within only a few minutes, Kaze is the only one connected. I take a moment to stop and look at her. She is Yoshiyuki's first creation, a pretty little thing with curly blonde hair that reaches to her waist and olive-colored eyes. I snort at the memory of how I once thought he would choose her over me, and hastily make my way back to the console room. Yoshiyuki's cut the alarm and seems to have relaxed a bit. "The protocols are working," he murmurs, removing his glasses and leaning back in the chair. I sink into my own seat, the images on the screen starting to blur before my eyes. It's the aftermath of all that adrenaline hitting me at once. I abruptly stand. "I need a drink." Before I can get more than three steps, however, I'm falling.  
"Kirameku-chan!" I can feel my body impact against his - apparently he's leapt in front of me to catch me - but I can't open my eyes. I'm trembling, feeling like I'm on fire, but my nerve endings are blocks of ice. I can't move, I can't speak, I can't do anything but lay in his arms and shake. He curses loudly, and pulls me over to my chair, dumping me unceremoniously into it. "Kirameku-chan! Open your eyes! Please, open your eyes, or say something! Kirameku-chan...!" Yoshiyuki, I cry inwardly. Help me. Help me, I can't move, I can't speak, I can't open my eyes. I can't do anything. Help me! I'm completely rigid in the chair, shaking like a leaf. Yoshiyuki grips my upper arms tightly. "Kirameku-chan," he snaps. "Kirameku-chan. Can you hear me? Say something, Kirameku!" When I still don't respond, I can feel the worry humming through him. "Come on. Come on, Kirameku-chan...please..." His grip tightens. Now it hurts. I pull in a ragged gasp of air, and it promptly bursts from my lungs in a scream.  
"Yamero!"  
My eyes snap open at my own cry. By speaking, I have freed myself from the horrifying trance. Yoshiyuki's face is the first thing I see. He's gone completely white, and there's something in his terrified gaze that I haven't ever seen there before. I can't place it, and before I have a chance to try, he's pulled me into his arms, and tears are now soaking my hair. "Yoshiyuki-san?" I whisper. "You don't have to cry. I'm..." But I realize the words I'm about to say...just aren't true. 


	9. Connecting

"Don't EVER scare me like that again," he snarls at me, pacing the length of the room with quick steps, like a caged animal. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? Do you have ANY idea how AFRAID I was?! Don't ever...EVER...do that to me again, Kirameku!" I meekly watch his movements, my head lowered so I won't look him in the eye. Something about him tells me that he's holding back, forcing himself to stay restrained. Maybe it's the way his steps aren't smooth, flowing, but jerky, like he has to make himself move. Maybe it's the way that muscle twitches in his jaw. Maybe it's the expression on his face. Or maybe it's all of the above. But, most likely, it's because I know him so well. I can sense his every emotion...well, all except one.  
"I...I'm sorry." I blink back the wetness that threatens to creep into my eyes. "Yoshiyuki-san..." He stops in mid-stride and turns back to me. "You're not the only one who was afraid," I choke out haltingly. "I was afraid, too. I didn't want to be away from you. I was afraid of leaving you. I don't...I don't...ever..." A sharp pain grips my chest. "Want...to..." I grit my teeth against it. "To...leave you..." My last words escape on a thin whimper. I wrap my arms around myself and try to stave off the agony that came at the thought of being separated from Yoshiyuki. It's almost unbearable. I don't even know I'm going to cry out until I do.  
"Don't you ever leave me, Yoshiyuki-san!" I scream. "Don't EVER LEAVE ME!"  
He just looks at me, obviously startled. I look him dead in the eye. "Don't ever leave me," I murmur. "I don't ever want to be alone. But most of all...I don't ever want to be without you. I know...I'm not supposed to have these emotions for you. But then how do you explain this?" I put my hand to my chest. "How do you explain the pain I feel here, when I think about being apart from you?" I press my fingertips against the flesh underneath my eyes. "How do you explain the tears?" I move forward. "And how do you explain...what happened to me earlier?" He's frozen in place, staring down at me, and I take advantage of this. I rise onto my tiptoes and slip my arms around his neck, looking up at him, pressing my body against his. "How do you explain any of it?" Closing my eyes, I capture his lips in a delicate kiss, then slowly pull away.  
"Kirameku-chan." He sounds stunned. He keeps on looking at me with that same half-frightened, half-hungering look in his eyes. "I...don't know," he says. "I don't know how I can explain any of it." His hand moves to caress my cheek. "I don't know how you can have these emotions for me. I don't know any of it." His fingers slide through my hair, to the curve of my ear. "So...why don't we find out?" He leads me into the console room, and sits me in front of his workstation. "We'll find it all out," he says. "Go on...connect." I nod, and move my hand to my ear. With a quick twisting motion, I free the cord there, pull it out, and hook it into his console. 


	10. Consenting

"I still don't understand." Yoshiyuki plays with my mid-back length hair as he talks, the auburn strands sliding through his fingers with a hushed whispering. "It should be impossible. But after all..." and here he smiles. "You are special. I built things into you that no other persocon has. I made it so you could cry, so you could laugh, so you could feel. And I made it so you could love. I just didn't expect you...to love me." Hurt flashes across my silver eyes, gone as quick as I can blink, but still he sees it. "It's not that I don't want you to love me. In fact, I was kind of hoping you would." His mouth twists in a wry smirk. He's rubbing my hair with his thumb now, like he did to the persocon Chii, and it makes me feel...somehow special. I reach out and take his other hand, sliding my fingers between his so our palms meet, then place my free hand against his cheek. He smiles a little bit. "Yes...you are special," he whispers. "Because you're mine."  
Those words go straight to my heart, and fill me with happiness. "Because I'm yours," I echo, gazing into his eyes. That emotion, now, is identifiable. I can see now that all this time...he loved me. That's love shining out from the depths of his soul, apparent in every gesture, every movement, every touch. It makes me want to laugh, to cry, to shout, to stay silent, all at the same time. But none of those actions seem adequate. The only one that I think is perfect, for this time, is to move closer, and touch my lips to his.  
When we break apart, he smiles down at me, caressing the bare skin of my shoulder. "You know what we're going to do now?" he murmurs. I shake my head. "We're going to let that persocon go," he says. "I thought that maybe she would love me...but I see now that isn't true. We're going to let her go...and then if you consent..." He lets go of my hand, and instead holds fast to both of my shoulders. "If you consent, Kirameku-chan," he says, so quietly I almost can't hear him. "To a human/persocon marriage."   
My eyes widen. Is Yoshiyuki saying what I think he is? "Yoshiyuki-san," I murmur. "I...don't understand. Your statement is too vague. Do you mean you want to marry to another persocon? Or do you want to marry to...me?" I hesitate before saying 'me'. Yoshiyuki catches my hesitation immediately, and laughs. "My Kirameku," he chuckles, pulling me into a hug. "My dear Kirameku. Of course I want to marry to you. Do you consent?"  
I pull back and stare into his eyes, my own sparkling.  
"I consent." 


	11. Ceremony

It was beautiful, Yoshiyuki's and my wedding ceremony. It took place in a small, secluded area off the outskirts of town, a place where a hidden pond lay, with a willow arching its branches over the pond. Dragonflies flitted all around the glade (which made me laugh) and sweetly scented flowers grew at the banks of the pond. I couldn't have picked a better place if I had tried. Yoshiyuki has quite an eye for beauty, I must say, I hadn't expected him to choose anyplace so serene and ethereal. The ceremony was conducted with only a few people attending, but all of our persocons were there. Hikaru started to sob when me and Yoshiyuki came up to the altar, him looking quite handsome in a tux, and me looking incredibly beautiful (according to him) in a strapless gown and delicate veil, black roses perched in my hair. She promptly got elbowed in the ribs by Kotoko, but even Yoshiyuki's stoic mobile began crying when the vows were said. By the time everything was finished, there wasn't a dry eye in the place, except for our full-sized persocons. After all, they can't cry.   
They're not like me, Hikaru, and Kotoko.  
They're not special.  
But I know my Yoshiyuki wouldn't have it any other way.  
***  
"Kojima Kirameku," he murmurs. "I like the sound of that." He turns to me, smiling, and I flash him a grin. "So do I," I say. "Yoshiyuki-san..."  
"Mm?"  
"Shut up and kiss me."  
  
~owari~ 


End file.
